The Psychiatry of Our Historical Time and Shocking Discoveries

PsychiatryThe unconscious mind that produces our dreams is God’s mind. This is a very important scientific and religious truth. God works like a natural psychotherapist because we have inherited craziness into the biggest part of our brain.

We are under-developed primates. Our tiny conscience must be developed through dream therapy, so that we may become wise human beings instead of being violent.

My obedience to God’s guidance in dreams was very difficult and painful. God told me that I had to face craziness like a hero and attain sanctity to help Him save the human race from craziness and terror.

God told me that I had to tell my family that I was crazy and follow a treatment with a psychiatrist for a while.

What? Did I understand this guidance?

Talking with God through dream messages was complicated. When I became a dream expert I started using a small notebook to directly talk with the divine unconscious mind, without having to sleep and dream, and then, translate my dreams to understand the unconscious messages.

In this small notebook I wrote the basic unconscious answers. Whenever I opened a page of the notebook I had God’s answer on the right page. Each message was a code.

The way I managed to find this code is quite complicated (like everything in my story) so I will just skip this explanation. The direct and fast conversations I could have with God thanks to this notebook meant that there was a huge progress in our communication.

In the beginning, understanding God’s guidance was not a simple matter for me. You won’t believe me if I will tell you everything I had to do until I would be able to decipher the unconscious messages in dreams and in my daily reality thanks to the symbolism contained in our reality, which is the same as the symbolic meaning contained in the same images in dreams. I discovered that I could have more information about my reality by translating the facts I observed in my life the same way I translated the meaning of dreams.

However, nothing was enough. Understanding God’s guidance was an adventure.

At that time I was in the beginning of my very long journey. I still ignored everything I could discover only much later, after passing though many other adventures. I felt as if I was an actress playing the role of a super woman, while I was only a human being.

I knew I was absurd and this is why I was following dream therapy. God would save me from schizophrenia thanks to the messages contained in my dreams. Why did I have to face a psychiatrist?

God told me that this was necessary because it was an important part of His plan for the elimination of evilness on Earth. It was also necessary because I would have to really fight craziness.

I had to make my family believe that I had serious psychological problems. I couldn’t keep following my routine and assuming all my obligations as if everything was fine. My mother would have to take care of my son in my place for a certain period of time.

You will verify in the end of this story how important this preparation was for many reasons. Its shocking real meaning will help you believe in God’s existence. You’ll verify that God makes miracles.

God’s plan was complicated. He knew many things I ignored. I had to obey his guidance even without understanding the real purpose of this guidance. This part was quite strange. I simply hated it.

However, I was ignorant. I couldn’t understand God’s intentions from the beginning. He couldn’t waste His time giving me explanations because I was in danger. And I wouldn’t be able to understand anything even with various explanations because first of all, many things that had not happened yet had to happen.

God could predict the future. God knew too many things. I had to be patient and trust His wisdom. God depended on my faith and on my obedience.

In other words, I had to obey God’s words like a soldier, without asking why he was giving me a certain order. This was necessary because I was in great danger.

I would be attacked by Satan. Satan is our anti-conscience, the wild part of our conscience that didn’t evolve like our human conscience. It is an idiotic demon, but at the same time it is very powerful and smart like a lion or a shark. It generates mental illnesses within our conscience with the intention to control our behavior.

I felt as uncomfortable as if I was an astronaut in another planet.

What did God expect from me?

A psychiatrist? This was ridiculous. I was not that crazy, and I was obeying His guidance.

However, God told me to stop complaining and do what He was telling me to.

The fact that I could directly talk with God by using my little notebook became a big problem in my already problematic life. However, it was a magical solution. I knew that I was really talking with God.

I verified that I was really talking with God because He told me I was a terrible sinner and I didn’t deserve to have the chance to be saved. He was giving me this opportunity only because He was generous and He needed my help in order to save the human race from despair.

God was not only trying to save me from schizophrenia. I had to learn how to be a psychiatrist and save many people from craziness and terror by translating the meaning of their dreams.

I was not important. Only my mission was important. I was a secret agent.

I hated my position.

However, what would have happened to me without God’s guidance?

I had no doubt that I was absurd. I was afraid of my anger. I understood that I couldn’t control my behavior in many situations.

I had to unavoidably recognize my absurdity and my ignorance. An ignorant and mentally ill creature like me couldn’t understand the difficult plan of a genius. God was trying to put an end to evilness during billions of years without success. He traced a very complicated plan with the intention to finally attain this aim. How could an idiotic creature like me understand God’s intentions when He was giving me an order?

I told my husband that I had discovered that all human beings are demons.

I knew that nobody would believe in the seriousness of my scientific research after continuing Carl Jung’s research into the unknown region of the human psyche through dream interpretation.

However, I had to make my family believe that I couldn’t understand that of course, they couldn’t understand the meaning of my research and discoveries without having any previous knowledge about this matter. I had to tell them that I had discovered that all human beings are demons, without taking their ignorance into consideration.

I knew that they would think that I was crazy, but this is what I had to accomplish. I had to make my family believe that I suddenly became crazy and I needed a treatment with a psychiatrist. This was part of God’s plan for the elimination of craziness and terror on Earth.

This plan was a nightmare. I had to accept everything because of this plan; which I couldn’t see or understand.

I wished I was a nothing. An irresponsible, inexistent, and invisible nothing without importance.

God told me that this experience was also necessary for the destruction of my dangerous ego. I had to learn how to be humble.

I couldn’t have the status quo I used to have in the past. I had to lose my social position and the image of a leader. I had to be in the position of a beggar, and depend on others for many reasons.

I remembered the tragic car accident I had to face when I was 15-years-old. This accident made me stop believing in God’s existence, and write a very strange philosophical romance, which was entitled “The Philanthropic Beggar’.

This book was preparing me to face hell like a hero. I had to be like the beggar, who was trying to put an end to poverty and violence on Earth, but was only a beggar, and had no power.

My scientific book helped me understand the real meaning of the literary book I had written inspired by the divine unconscious mind when I was an atheist.

This scientific book helped me find God. Then, I started talking with God.

And then, I had to pass through hell. This was the result of my research. The continuation of Carl Jung’s research into the unknown region of the human psyche through dream interpretation ended up in a battle.

I had to fight Satan.

I belonged to the next generation. I had to complete Carl Jung’s research instead of accepting ignorance.

After seriously studying Carl Jung’s books and many other complicated scientific books, and after writing the beginning of my scientific book about the meaning of dreams and my conclusions, I saw myself in the position of a nun, having to obey God’s orders like a soldier.

I couldn’t believe that this was my destiny.

Help God put and end to craziness and terror?

I couldn’t believe that this terrible situation was really part of my daily life. I was only a human being. An imperfect human being.

God reminded me that I had to obey His orders like a soldier because there was great danger involved in my mission. He couldn’t give me explanations because I was ignorant.

I had no way to make God change his perfect plan for the elimination of craziness and terror. He didn’t care about my suffering. On the contrary, He kept telling me that I really deserved to pass through hell. My blood had no value. Only I felt sorry for myself.

I told God that perhaps He was crazy because He wanted to transform demons into human beings. This was more than impossible. He had to simply accept this fact.

I also told Him that it was very easy to tell others what to do, but He wouldn’t bear to be in my place.

His plan was absurd. This was a true crucifixion.

Lose my status quo and my social position? Being considered an idiot?


God told me that He was Jesus. He came to Earth as if He was His own son. Nobody would bear suffering so much in His place. Only God could die in a cross without complaining.

I remembered the religion lessons I had in my Catholic school. I was constantly complaining, but I had to be like Saint Mary. She didn’t complain when the Gabriel angel told her that she had to accept being the mother of a child that was coming from God. She was in a very difficult position.

I knew that God was a genius and He could put an end to all horrors. I had to be grateful because I had the chance to find sound mental health by obeying His guidance. I also had to help Him put his plan into practice. I had to love this plan instead of hating it because it was based on my blood. My blood had no value. I was a monster.

I stopped concentrating my attention on my own suffering.

This experience with the psychiatrist was necessary because I had to become a psychiatrist and cure others and I had to see the two sides of the coin.

I had to be a patient who depends on a psychiatrist to understand how my patients would feel because they would depend on my guidance. When we cure a mental illness through dream therapy the real doctor is God, but the dream translator deals with the patient and with all the existing problems, helping the patient put God’s guidance into practice.

When I told my husband that God showed me in my dreams that all human beings are demons, he laughed. He believed I was merely joking. However, after a while he understood that I was not making fun of anything. I was very serious.

He told my mother that I probably needed a psychiatric treatment because I was saying strange things, and having a strange behavior.

My mother blamed the scientific book I was writing. I started writing it in February of 1988 in order to prove to the world that only Carl Jung had discovered the right method of dream interpretation. However, besides having to prove that his method of dream interpretation was valid, I also had to continue his research.

My scientific book became a method to prevent craziness before having psychological problems. Everyone must prevent being controlled by the craziness existent into their anti-conscience. My book also became a method of fast and safe psychotherapy for the mentally ill, based on the unconscious guidance. I discovered the meaning of numerous dream symbols.

My family couldn’t understand the importance and the seriousness of my work, especially my mother, who was a very superficial person. We were totally different.

She always was false; a perfect actress. She pretended to be very worried and sad, while she was in fact afraid of what she would have to face because I was sick.

One of her friends knew a good psychiatrist. I visited this doctor with my husband. We talked with him for a while. He said that he believed that it would be better for me if I would follow a treatment with another specialist, who was also a professor at the University of Athens. His name was Ioanis Mandonakis.

My husband and I started visiting this second doctor every Monday. He was supposed to help me after a certain ‘crisis’ during which I believed that I was controlled by a demon and I felt that this was a shocking experience. I didn’t want to feel this way again. This is why I needed the psychiatrist’s assistance.

Everything I was telling him was true. I really saw the satanic anti-conscience when I discovered its existence, and this really was a very shocking experience. I was not lying. However, I knew that this doctor couldn’t understand my research, or help me in any way. I was only pretending that I was seeking his help because he was a specialist.

He was not a psychologist, so he didn’t provide me with psychotherapy. He only made me a few questions, always trying to find a way to give me medication for some reason. This was what he was supposed to do, but he couldn’t find a reason to give me medication.

He became very angry with me when I told him that I had continued Carl Jung’s research and I had discovered the cure for all mental illnesses. I told him that all mental illnesses are caused by the wild side of the human conscience, which is a demon. I saw the demon, and I was more than shocked with this experience.

The psychiatrist told me that if my discoveries were true I should be honored with a Nobel Prize. However, this was not the case. I was totally ignorant. I was not a brilliant psychiatrist like him. He was able to cure others; not me.

He couldn’t understand why I was visiting him. I seemed to be perfectly normal. God told me that I only had to pretend that I was afraid because I had discovered that all human beings are demons, and that I was a terrible demon.

One day I had a nightmare. I dreamt that my mother was trying to kill my father with a knife. They were in the bathroom. I woke up terrified. God told me to talk about this experience with the psychiatrist.

I called him up telling him that I was very afraid of my nightmare because I knew that it meant that my brain would be possessed by craziness. The mother in dreams represents our satanic anti-conscience. The father represents our human conscience. The bathroom is related to our sexuality.

The fact that my mother was trying to kill my father in this dream meant that I would lose my mind. This dream was predicting schizophrenia.

He gave me certain pills telling me that these pills would make me feel uncomfortable for a certain period of time, but in the end they would help me feel better. I didn’t understand why he was giving me this chemical substance or how it could help me in any way.

I was afraid to trust this arrogant doctor who believed that he knew everything, while he ignored what exists in the human brain.

God told me that I should take only two pills. I felt so uncomfortable that I couldn’t find peace neither sitting down nor standing up. I was uncomfortable in all situations and positions. The medication given by this psychiatrist was in fact causing a mental illness that I didn’t have before meeting him.

I stopped taking these pills, besides visiting the psychiatrist with my husband every Monday. I couldn’t understand why I had to visit this doctor every Monday and talk about irrelevant matters. However, my husband insisted that it was better to keep being under the protection of this specialist.

What kind of protection?

He ignored everything about me and he didn’t want to learn more. He was simply waiting for an opportunity to give me medication for some reason.

My mother kept blaming the book I was writing, and all the books I had read. She was unable to think logically without letting her feelings interfere in her judgment. Her psychological type was the extroverted based on feelings.

She seemed to be good-hearted and balanced. However, she was a big liar. She always distorted her descriptions based on what was convenient for her. She never had her own opinion about anything. She merely repeated what she had heard, or what she had watched on TV.

My brother-in-law belonged to the same psychological type. His behavior was as false and ridiculous as my mother’s behavior, with the difference that he was not a good actor like my mother.

He used to make many questions. When he had a problem he would interview everyone he knew, and ask them what they would do in his place if they had the same problem. He was unable to make any important decision based on his own judgment.

He discussed my mental illness with all his uncles and aunts. Everyone started calling me up and making me numerous questions. They kept me busy giving them explanations, without helping me in any way.

Everybody in the family was worried because I stopped being the helpful person I used to be.

My uncle Dimitris pretended to care about my mental health, but in the end he told my mother that psychological problems had no solution. He was my mother’s oldest brother. His behavior was very similar to my mother’s behavior, with the difference that he was visibly immoral, while my mother always pretended to respect her morals.

Uncle Dimitris betrayed my mother exactly when I was having this problem with my mental health. They had a store together, but he decided to keep the store only for himself.

I clearly understood that all human beings are in fact terrible demons. I was not an exception. God told me that I was the worst demon existent on Earth when He showed me the truth about my mental condition, but he didn’t mention that most people on Earth are worst demons like me.

My relatives made me feel worse than I was feeling with this experience.

I lost my social position and my importance. I was no more considered intelligent and able to write a brilliant scientific book that would put and end to humanity’s suffering.

One day God told me to tell my family that I had decided to stop following the ridiculous treatment of this psychiatrist. He was not helping me in any way. I would continue my treatment by obeying the guidance of the wise unconscious mind in my dreams.

My husband and I got divorced. He told me that I had to take care of our son without abandoning my responsibilities. He believed that I was simply pretending to be crazy, and he refused to keep helping me.

I was really pretending to be crazier than I was because I had to obey God’s guidance. However, I knew that I was neurotic and I would surely become schizophrenic if I wouldn’t follow psychotherapy. I was not lying. I was predicting that I would have to face horrible symptoms in the future and trying to prevent a severe mental illness.

God was in fact preparing me for the fight against my satanic anti-conscience.

My mother took care of my son, who was almost four-years-old at that time. Since I had to fight craziness, she accepted to take care of him in my place. When I was fine she never had enough time to stay with my little son to help me have some freedom, and feel that I had someone’s support.

Then, I started facing the worst attacks of the satanic anti-conscience. I had to fight dizziness, fainting, absurd thoughts, oral and visual distortions, blackouts, and hallucinations. I managed to bear everything without fainting or losing my mind because I was constantly praying.

The prayers helped me feel connected with God and have the courage to go on.

Whenever I had to face hallucinations I had to stand up and walk, without remaining for long in the same position. I had to walk around my bed for hours until the hallucinations would finally stop.

I walked praying and remembering that I was fighting craziness in the name of God. I had to be a hero and help Him put a definitive end to craziness and terror.

My battle was very important. I was very strong. I knew I could bear everything and survive. God chose me and prepared me for this battle because He knew that I was resistant.

I saw that the anti-conscience loses its energy when we show resistance to its attacks without screaming, fainting, or exploding of anger. We have to bear its attacks without doing anything else besides praying. Te horrible symptoms of craziness are generated by Satan, and have a limited duration.

At a certain point, the demon loses its destructive power. When we show resistance to its attacks, we make it abandon our conscience.

After fighting craziness during 8 months with true heroism, I won this difficult and unbearable battle. The strange symptoms of schizophrenia stopped torturing me.

However, I was not really glad. After this experience everything completely changed. The world became an unbearable hell. I knew that all human beings were terrible demons. I stopped being immature and naïve.

I was very sorry for God, who had to cure terrible demons. I would never abandon Him. His pain was more than unbearable. I didn’t want to be in His place.

God let me rest for two months. Then, he told me that I had to assume my responsibilities again and find a job.

My mother talked with one of her younger brother’s best friends, asking him if I could work in his travel agency. He agreed with the idea even though he didn’t really need anyone else in his office, and I started working there.

All my colleagues were aggressive and selfish. They simply hated me. My boss seemed to like me (even though he was married) because I was attractive.

God told me that this job in the travel agency would help me become strong again and relate the truth I had discovered to my daily reality. I had to get adapted to my reality, after facing craziness and discovering that human beings are in fact demons with a human face.

I kept writing my scientific book about the meaning of dreams and craziness prevention. Humanity had to learn the truth and get rid of the tyranny of the anti-conscience. Most importantly, God had to be able to finally rest and stop trying to transform terrible demons into sensitive human beings.

I could better understand God’s plan and the real meaning of my anti-conscience’s attacks only much later, when I learned many things I ignored. These attacks were the result of my anti-conscience’s anger because I was obeying God’s guidance and saving my sanity.

I was in love with a married man, even though I was married too. He was my husband’s best customer. God was trying to help me prevent adultery.

Exactly when I had to face the worst attacks of my satanic anti-conscience, this man killed my husband.

He was trying to possess me no matter how. He paid everyone to pretend that my husband suddenly had a heart attack. My husband died when he was 34-years-old, and our son was 4-years-old.

My anti-conscience understood that the man I loved had killed by husband, but I ignored this fact. This is why it was sending me dizziness, fainting, and all the unbearable symptoms of craziness. It was trying to me stop obeying the unconscious mind and discover what had happened.

If I could understand that the man I loved had killed my husband at the time, I would simply fall into his arms, without paying attention to his crime.

God told me that my husband’s death was necessary because he became neurotic after his mother’s death, and he would become psychotic. My husband was saved from craziness because he regretted not giving me all his support when I told him that I was mentally ill. He helped me only in the beginning.

God took his life before letting him lose his positive social image. Otherwise, he would become psychotic.

I knew that my husband was neurotic because I had observed his behavior quite well. When his mother had died he became insecure and nervous, while before he was always calm, and he had a great sense of humor. My husband belonged to the extroverted psychological type based on intuition. He was always pursuing new possibilities, without developing the ones he had already found.

He was permanently depressed during the last days of his life because we were getting divorced. We had already started the process with a lawyer.

I met him many times like a friend. He kept seeing our son whenever he wanted to, without dates or limits. My husband understood that he had made many mistakes and he was alone. He had the moral obligation to keep helping me in life, the same way I had helped him build our small factory. He was saved from a worst hell on Earth than the hell he would have to face after death. My goodness with him helped him regret having abandoned me, and understand his sins.

I perceived that my husband’s death was quite convenient for the man I loved (who also seemed to be in love with me), since he got rid of his rival. However, I couldn’t imagine that he had killed my husband because I didn’t believe that he had the intention to marry me. God showed me in dreams that this man only wanted to have fun with me for a while, and then abandon me.

This information didn’t seem to be false. I understood that God was trying to open my eyes.

This man was very rich, handsome, and powerful. He was not loyal to his wife. He had many lovers. He also was cruel and absurd. I would regret getting involved with him if I would fall into his arms. I had to stay far from this man to protect my sanity.

God didn’t lie to me, even though He didn’t tell me the entire truth as it was. He couldn’t give me more explanations at that period of time because I was in great danger. I had to accept waiting for the time when I would be able to understand everything.

I was forbidden to think about this man. I had to forget his existence.

God made me discover the satanic anti-conscience exactly when this man was ready to kill my husband. He had the intention to get divorced because he was really in love with me (besides having many lovers).

However, God made me believe that he didn’t have the intention to have a serious relationship with me in order to help me avoid getting involved with him.

His wife and his children would try to kill me.

I was very violent. I would surely attack them back. My anti-conscience would then have the chance to make me completely lose my mind with the unbearable symptoms it would send to my conscience, and I would surely become schizophrenic.

This man was schizophrenic too. He belonged to the introverted psychological type based on feelings like my father. I would have the same destiny my mother had if I would marry him.

My mother was the worst victim of my father’s absurdity. I helped her get divorced when I became a teen. I understood that I had to compare my parents’ life with my own life and avoid having their tragic destiny.

My father was twenty years older than my mother. The man I was in love with was twenty six years older than me. He was very handsome and he seemed to be quite younger. I didn’t doubt that all the women of the world were in love with him like me.

God made me fight craziness exactly when he had the intention to kill my husband with the intention to keep me busy with the fight against Satan. I started fighting my anti-conscience in February of 1989. The anti-conscience’s attacks stopped only in the end of September of this year.

My husband was murdered in July 25, while I was fighting dizziness and hallucinations, and I couldn’t react as I would normally react if I was not passing through this very strange experience.

After my husband’s death, God told me that I had to go to the Catholic Church every Sunday. I also had to follow religious seminars with studies about the Bible two times per week in a Catholic organization, with French and Greek nuns, and participate of all activities of the Catholic community.

The man I was in love with was constantly following me, while I ignored this fact. He believed that I understood that he had killed my husband, and I was shocked. This is why I started going to the church every Sunday, and I became very religious.

He didn’t know that I couldn’t understand that he had killed my husband because God didn’t let me think about this matter. He couldn’t imagine that I had discovered the existence of the anti-conscience and I was fighting the worst symptoms of craziness by obeying God’s guidance, exactly when he had killed my husband.

This man believed that instead of having the behavior that any woman would have in my place after understanding that he really wanted me, I was shocked with his behavior.

He knew that I didn’t love my husband. However, he understood that I respected him as a human being. He concluded that I was shocked with the fact that he had the courage to kill a young man, who was also the father of a 4-years-old boy, without thinking about anything.

This was how God could protect me.

I understood that God was making me care about fighting craziness with the intention to make me forget the man I was in love with, but I didn’t believe that this man really loved me, and that he had killed my husband. I believed that my husband’s death was part of God’s plan.

This man had killed my husband because he wanted to oblige me to meet him again, because he wanted to show me that he wouldn’t abandon me, and because he wanted to oblige his family to accept the fact that he wanted to live with me. I learned the truth a few months later in a dream.

I had to fight absurd thoughts. I couldn’t think about whatever I wanted to. I had to repeat the words of prayers whenever I had absurd thoughts and concentrate my attention on my dangerous mission. Therefore, I stopped paying attention to all thoughts related to this man and to my husband’s death.

When I learned the truth, I had many conversations by phone with this man because I couldn’t personality meet him. His factory was too far from the center of Athens.

He practically admitted his sin, but he refused to clearly confess everything. He was very revolted with me because I had abandoned him instead of going back to the factory, so that he could meet me again after killing my husband.

My mother learned that I was bothering him in his factory because his business partner told her about my daily phone calls. His business partner hated me. I had many enemies.

My mother decided to send me to Brazil for a while (I was in Greece). It would be better for me if I would meet my old friends and forget this man, instead of believing that he had killed my husband.

God knew that I had to enter into contact with this man after discovering the truth because I adored him. So, I was allowed to make these phone calls. They worked like psychotherapy for me and for him. However, these conversations by phone couldn’t last long. There were too many problems in our relationship; and many people were very worried with our contact.

I accepted the idea to go to Brazil because this was part of God’s plan. I had to show to my old Brazilian friends how much I had changed after passing through psychotherapy. I also had to meet my father, who was living alone in Brazil since 1976, when my parents got divorced.

He had become crazier with time, and I had to help him recover some balance.

The man I was in love with had to pass through psychotherapy. I couldn’t simply meet him again after what had happened. He was more than angry with me. He concluded that I didn’t love him. This story would continue when I would return from my trip.

This was how God managed to save me from craziness and terror.

If I would depend on Doctor Mandonakis’ medications when I was fighting dizziness, fainting, unstoppable absurd thoughts, oral and vision distortions, loss of equilibrium, blackouts, and hallucinations, what would have happened to me?

Would this psychiatrist help me survive the attacks of my evil and absurd anti-conscience with his medications?

The attempt to interfere in the functioning of the human brain without knowing how it really works is a crime. All psychiatrists are totally wrong about everything.

Carl Jung could discover the perfect psychotherapeutical method because he discovered the unconscious wisdom. All the other psychotherapeutical methods (especially those based on the use of drugs) are very dangerous.

I will show you how to cure severe mental illnesses through sanctity. Individuals who suffer from severe mental illnesses never cooperate with their doctor.

I could somehow cure my father from schizophrenia thanks to my goodness.

The solution for humanity is based on the comprehension of the meaning of sanctity. Only sanctity can save the human race from craziness and terror.

You can have the behavior of a saint in a very short period of time if you’ll regret being a sinner and you’ll pay attention to the meaning of your dreams.

I made a road map for you; you only have to follow my steps. I also simplified the process of transformation. My simplifications are very meaningful.

Translating the meaning of dreams with the intention to attain sanctity is like going to school. You will learn the process, follow it, and then, finish. You will keep translating your dreams forever, but you will already have transformed your personality from the beginning. Your communication with God will have another meaning.

I traveled to Brazil in October of 1991. My father’s absurdity increased. He was living alone in the house where we used to stay when he had a factory in a city named Americana. This city was near my city, Sao Paulo. We used to go to Americana every weekend.

When my parents got divorced (in 1976) my father closed the factory and he started selling a certain material to other factories. He used to stay in a luxurious hotel near my school. We had lunch together in a Greek restaurant near there every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday after my school.

Then, he would go to Americana. His house was there.

In the beginning he was very generous with me, even though I had helped my mother get a divorce. However, he stopped giving me money when he understood that I was giving this money to my mother.

I had decided to permanently live in Greece in 1980. Many facts prevented me to go back to Brazil before 1991.

My father was very afraid of me. He was in fact afraid of my intentions. I had to show him that I didn’t want his money, and be very helpful.

When I arrived to Americana I started feeling an unbearable pain in all my teeth. I asked God why this was happening to me.

God told me that my father was more schizophrenic than before, and it was very dangerous to make him become angry for some reason. This pain in my teeth was reminding me that I had to pay attention to my words. My father was totally out of control.

He was a cruel murderer. He was selling children to people who wanted their organs for transplants. This shocking situation was happening in Brazil at that period of time, and it became widely known. There were too many abandoned children in Brazil. Poverty always was one of the worst problems of my country.

Of course, I had no way to confirm this information, but I didn’t doubt that my father was a murderer. The pain in my teeth didn’t let me doubt that I was in a very dangerous situation.

My father hated all the children of the world because he had lost his child. He lost me. I abandoned him alone in Brazil and I decided to live in Greece, far from his absurdity. He already was crazy when I was born. When he felt that he was abandoned by his own child, he became a cruel murderer.

He couldn’t understand that he was crazy and I couldn’t bear his presence.

When I saw his house I understood how really absurd he was. He was still living in the same house we had when the factory was working, without changing furniture or anything else from that time. He seemed to be a poor beggar.

My old bedroom (which I had decorated with little pictures on the wall) was full of trash. I could hardly enter. It looked like a horror movie.

His house was more than dirty. There were probably rats everywhere.

I asked him why he was living this way.

He told me that everything was extremely clean in the kitchen.

In the kitchen everything seemed to be clean, but the rest of the house was part of the same environment. My father didn’t seem to understand this fact.

When he told me that I could sleep there while I was visiting him in Americana, I told him that I couldn’t stay in that dirty house the way it was. I told him that he had to abandon that house too. I would help him find a new house, a clean house, and someone who would take care of him.

He drove me to one of the best hotels of Americana and paid the hotel for me, with the same generosity he used to show me when I was a child. His house was not so dirty because he didn’t have money to pay someone to clean it for him. He simply didn’t believe that it was necessary to clean a house.

He didn’t mind living with the trash, because he was indifferent to terror and violence. He had no feelings.

Besides being so absurd, my father still was a businessman. Nobody knew that he was completely crazy. The mentally ill can work normally, as if they didn’t have psychological problems.

One of his business colleagues even told me that his father and my father were very good friends, when my father and I met him in the street. I’m sure that his father had never visited my father. My father’s house was so dirty and so messy that there was no meaning on trying to clean anything.

I looked for the phone number of a Catholic church in Americana, trying to find for my father a place where he would be protected by religious people. He could pay the rent. This was not a problem. The problem was to convince him to abandon his house and live somewhere else.

A lady told me that there was a house for old people where my father could live, which belonged to the church. She told me to meet her at the church near there, and learn more details about this matter.

My father drove me to the church, but he refused to abandon the car. When we arrived there he was in panic.

I told him that we wouldn’t delay. We would only talk with someone for a while. However, he didn’t want to enter the church with me. He was more than nervous only because he had parked his car in front of the church. He kept looking to the right and to the left, as if he was afraid of a terrible threat.

The pain in my teeth reminded me that everything was very dangerous. My father suffered from hierophobia because he was a murderer. This means that he was afraid of sacred things and priests. He had even removed Saint Mary’s statue from the frontal part of his house.

I remembered that I had the chance to verify that he really didn’t like children because he refused to take a look at my son’s pictures. My son was his own grandson. This was very strange.

I entered the church alone, looking for the person I had a meeting with, but I couldn’t find anyone. I understood that it was not a good idea to insist. The pain in my teeth didn’t let me forget that I was in danger.

I went back to the car and I told my father that we would find a better place for him, since he didn’t like that church, and we immediately left.

My father found another house in Nova Odessa, a city near Americana, where he had a certain business. God put a saintly neighbor near his house. She was a nurse. This saintly woman, her son, and her husband helped my father very much. Later, my father helped them build a house for old people with his money.

Many people told me that this family cared about my father’s money and this is why they were helping him. I could verify their goodness, and my father (who never trusted anyone) was happy with them. They were very patient. They understood that he was strange.

A few of my Brazilian friends helped me, visiting my father when I went back to Greece. They verified that he was in good hands.

I was sure that God was helping me in this point because my situation was too scary.

My father was an unbearable person. He kept creating problems without reason. I would gladly pay millions to this saintly nurse and her family because they were taking care of my father on my behalf. They really deserved to receive millions because they had the patience to show goodness to a cruel monster like him.

After living with this family, my father started believing in God, and even praying. I had many conversations with him by phone when I went back to Greece.

He would never be cured with medications if he would be treated by a psychiatrist. However, my goodness and the goodness of the family who took care of him helped him recover a little bit of his already destroyed human conscience.

I traveled to Brazil again in 1998 with my son and a psychotic friend. I was helping this psychotic friend since 1989, after my husband’s death. She was feeling better, and she trusted me. She wanted to travel to Brazil with me and meet her uncle, who lived in my city. It was the first time in her life that she was going somewhere without her parents, after becoming psychotic.

Her uncle was one of my mother’s best friends. She stayed in Sao Paulo with him for a few days while my son and I traveled to Nova Odessa in order to meet my father.

My father was glad for having the chance to meet his grandson. We had traveled to Brazil especially with the intention to see my father because he had a serious problem with his legs. His nurse called me telling me that perhaps he wouldn’t be able to walk again. My son was 14-years-od at that time.

I delayed organizing everything in my daily life in order to be able to go to Brazil. In the meanwhile, my father got better. He was walking again when we had finally arrived.

My son had to remember my lessons and talk with his grandfather in Portuguese. My father had completely forgotten the Greek language.

He didn’t give any gift to his grandson (like grandfathers usually do) but he was very kind with him. When we left Nova Odessa to go back to Sao Paulo and we said goodbye, he showed us that he would miss us very much. One real tear fell from his right eye.

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung’s research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to accurately translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.

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